We all want to be the most popular kid in school or become the next homecoming king/queen. Others look forward to being teacher’s pet or the class clown. However, a lot of people hide their inner feelings in order to achieve what they think people would like. They do it for others instead of expressing who they really are. They are so eager to be a “ part” of a “squad” and end up faking their personality in all aspects. They want to be noticed and wants their name in the spotlight. It all falls under the words, “ constantly having to wonder where you stand with someone”. I'm not going to lie, but sometimes it's hard to fit in when you're the only person who stands out. Sitting alone at a lunch table is never fun and being the odd one out of a group activity can be publicly embarrassing. That's when you go into fake mode and start pretending to act like the cool kid and forget about who you really are. When long period of time pass, you forget how to be like yourself and regret what you did in the beginning which could possibly change your whole life. For example, when high school turns the corner there will always be that group who uses drugs and cigarettes. Deep down inside, you know it's the wrong path to take, but you know their the popular kids and did what they peer pressured you into doing. That's when you have to “ stop standing and start walking”. In my life, I've experienced this feeling multiple times without myself realizing it. When I first started middle school, I couldn't figure out where I stood in the group of my peers. Taking on a new chapter in life, everyone changed into something different no matter good or bad. So I didn't know where my personality fitted in. I started by hanging out with my elementary friends as what I thought was the safest way to go. As time gradually moved on, my “friends” changed into a completely new person that wasn't in my favor. But at that point, I didn't know what to do to myself so I decided to copy them and fit into the group of friends that I only had. Even though I knew it wasn't my style, I thought I had to do what I could to just fit it. However, I was wrong. Faking life got extremely tiring in a short amount of time . I didn't deserve to force myself to be part of something I wasn't. Slowly, I faded away from my old friends and started making new friends in school. That's when I realize that it only feels right when you are being yourself. Those who are meant to be in your life will come and those who aren't will leave. It was much simpler said than done, but it feels good to have true friends and a true self. Even though you may miss your old companions, life moves on and so do people. In the quote “ If you are constantly having to wonder where you stand with someone, maybe it's time to stop standing and start walking”, it tell us to stop letting your surroundings drag you into being someone you're not. Start becoming your own unique person and pick up your own trends and friends. Be the leader in your life.
The quote “If you are constantly having to wonder where you stand with someone, maybe it's time to stop standing and start walking”, is a great quote for teenagers. I personally like it because of the way I interpreted it. When I see this quote I think, if I’m questioning my friendship with someone, I should just walk away from this “friend”, as he or she is not actually a true friend. For example, when I make a friend, and a few days later I start questioning his or her actions, I know it’s time to either avoid/end the friendship or hang out with this person a lot less. Especially one of the more popular kids, if you become friends with them, you’ll probably question their friendship a lot as these kinds of kids will be into drugs and/or will do anything possible to gain popularity (Even if it mean embarrassing you in public). A better friend would be someone who doesn’t care much about popularity but actually friendship, and you will have to be the same. This quote, if all teenagers followed it, would never be peer-pressured into doing the wrong things or taking the wrong path and would have a much better social life. No longer would there be as much drug abuse and bullying in school - and better groups of friends would be formed.
***Continuing Blog on next post as I have reached the Character Limit***
***Continuing Blog on this post as I have reached the Character Limit***
I have had an experience similar to this, and it was just after I moved to go to IMS. It was mid-July and I was looking for friends or at least a group of peers that I could hang out with. I didn’t really do much the first two days since I was just moving in, but I called one of my friends on the third day that had once lived in the same area, and he told me that we could search for more friends together. I made many close friends that day, but also a few not so great friends. (To keep their privacy I have decided to name this person Jeff). By the second day, I decided of all the friends I had made Jeff was probably the best and wisest, as he was the oldest and was almost done with middle school. So by the 4th day, I was listening to all of his advice and then started to question my friendship with him. I had learned a lot of information about Jeff by the 4th day, such as he kept alcohol bottles hidden throughout the neighborhood, he even showed me one that was filled! Once I went to his house, I realized that his siblings were all following his lead and would soon become the same person Jeff was, I was fine with that because I thought he was a cool person, even though I was blinded by the truth that he was actually uncool. After that he started giving me advice such as, “Oh get a good brand of shoes, you will get instant popularity” (False statement I would learn later) he even criticized my clothes, which turned out to be something, that if you have good friends, would never be criticized in Middle School. My bigger brother would many times fight Jeff, and I would have honestly no idea why I would soon learn later why. One of my close friends started telling me stories of Jeff, and how he and his siblings were always brewing some type of trouble. They would take pranks way too far (such as stealing), their parents didn’t really care much about what they did, and recently I have learned that Jeff has started smoking E-Cigarettes. After carefully weighing the options one day, and based on my friends and brothers advice, I decided to stop talking to Jeff altogether, plus, he had basically forgotten about us and was hanging out with other people who were almost exactly like him. I started wondering where I stood in his friendship circle and I wondered often about his actions. Were we still friends? Were we close friends? Will getting better shoes make him happy? I decided to quit trying to be his friend, He’s happy with his new friends anyway. I am with much better friends now, one that doesn't want me to change, ones that are not into drugs, and ones that aren’t after popularity but rather bonding with closer and better friends. I have finally found the perfect group of peers where I don’t have to wonder where I stand with them, as I know that I’m one of their best friends and I don't need to change one bit to get a higher status with them.
I have learned first hand what the quote “If you are constantly having to wonder where you stand with someone, maybe it's time to stop standing and start walking” means. I don’t have to change myself to be a better person to my friends, I am who I am and if others can’t respect that, then they aren’t good friends. I shouldn’t constantly have to wonder where I stand with someone nor should I have to change to make them happy. I shouldn’t change my personality or actions to please someone else. I should be honest with myself and happy to be the person I turned out to be. If I ever do need to wonder about my “friend” I know it’s time walk away to get a new, better one.There are plenty of good friends in the world, you just have to find them.
This quote expresses the epitome of comparison between peers your own age or with someone you know very well. One of the most common and destructive daily habit is to constantly compare your life and yourself to other people and their lives. At the end of the day, you pummel your self-esteem to the ground and you create a lot of negative feelings within. Perhaps also outside of yourself, as well. Famous author and writer, Mark Twain, has said that “comparison is the death of joy,” and the science agrees. Research has found that comparing breeds feelings of envy, low self-confidence, and depression, as well as compromises our ability to trust others. While downward comparison, comparing ourselves to those less fortunate, can provide some benefit to one’s sense of self, even this form of comparison comes at a price. It requires that we take pleasure in someone else’s failures or misfortunes in order to feel adequate, which can fuel mean-spirited competitiveness versus collaboration; jealousy versus connection. When comparing leads you to devalue yourself or others you’ve entered dangerous territory. No matter what you do you can pretty much always find someone else in the world that has more than you or are better than you at something. These negative thoughts often lead you into thinking that there is always someone better than you and what you do for this world, as a whole, isn’t as significant as what they are doing. For example, there are three neighbors living side by side and they are all good friends. One neighbor feels the compulsion to be superior to the other two. So he goes out to buy the best car he can see. Yes, he may feel good for a while when he realizes that he got a nicer car than his neighbor. But a week or two later, he sees someone from the next block with an even finer car than his, and goes back into the cycle of comparison. Instead of comparing yourself to other people create the habit of comparing yourself to yourself. See how much you have grown, what you have achieved and what progress you have made towards your goals. This habit has the benefit of creating gratitude, appreciation and kindness towards yourself as you observe how far you have come, the obstacles you have overcome and the good stuff you have done. You feel good about yourself without having to think less of other people. In reality, comparing yourself to other doesn’t help you get any closer to your goals. Ruminating about how someone else is better looking, has more friends, or is more successful than you is both time-consuming and ineffective. Being hard on ourselves actually diminishes motivation and decreases goal completion. If you really want to live a life that feels fulfilling you need to dedicate your time and energy to your own values. To get your focus in the right place ask yourself questions like: When you imagine yourself at the end of your life looking back at what you’ve done, what will be the experiences and accomplishments that will have been most important to you? What kind of person do you want to be? You can use these personal values as the barometer upon which you compare, rather than the accomplishments of those around you. If comparing is how you evaluate your worth, you will always be losing. In this game of life you will never reach a point where you are better than others in every way and why would you want to be. Part of what makes life awesome and interesting is learning from the talents of others. Instead of trying to be as good as or better than others, focus your energy on being the very best version of yourself. So next time you catch yourself using someone else as a benchmark for your own worth stop and remind yourself how ineffective this strategy really is. Instead, compassionately redirect your energy and attention to your own goals and what is required to achieve them.
The quote, “If you’re constantly having to wonder where you stand with someone, maybe it’s time to stop standing and start walking,” is very meaningful to people who are pre-teens and teenagers. Around this age, there is changing relationships, especially with friends. In elementary school, people are very close because they are together for many years. The grades aren’t that big and everybody knows each other. Then when you get to middle school, there are way more people in your grade, and you are separated from your elementary school friends, because of your schedule. When I got to middle school, I wanted to be friends with all my elementary school friends, but I soon realized that wasn’t going to happen. I made new friends, and so did everybody else. It’s not always possible to still be friends with them. You might lose contact or you both just change and you don’t think it’s right to still be friends.
Over the past few years, I have had a couple of instances where this quote has come into play. The first one was back in elementary school. In second grade, I was really good friends with this girl, and during recess we would always play together. Whenever we had the chance, we would be talking to each other. I thought our friendship was going to last forever. It was always great being with her, and whenever we were together I was happy. Then, the next year when we came back to school, things were just different. We were barely talking to each other and I was so upset. After thinking about it, I realized that she actually wasn’t always that nice to me, even when we were good friends. I couldn’t figure out where I stood with her, so I had to move on. Once I realized this, I started making new friends, and she had her friends.
Another instance where the quote, “If you’re constantly having to wonder where you stand with someone, maybe it’s time to stop standing and start walking,” was at the beginning of middle school. In fifth grade, I was really close with this girl, and I used to go to her house, and we would have tons of fun. At the beginning of middle school, we were still really good friends, but we were only in one class together. The class wasn’t even half the year, so once it was over we had no contact. She was always nice to me, but we just started growing apart. I didn’t really know where our friendship was, and I was confused. For the rest of sixth grade, we didn’t talk to each other much. I just decided to move on, because we didn’t really have a friendship anymore. We started becoming friends again this year, but we still don’t have as strong of a friendship as we did a couple of years ago. These instances showed me how this quote can be true, and I realized how meaningful it is.
Most of by now are teenagers. And these are the years in life where we have absolutely no clue what we are doing. We don't know what we want, or what we want to be. And of course, we'll do anything to be within the popular crowd. And I mean it. Unless you have your own little fan club or you're satisfied with all of the friends (which I am). As teenagers we have many changes in our daily lives and we have changes in our mood. We have changes in our social behavior and emotional behavior. We really want to know where we belong in our world. We might start having strong emotions and mood swings. And most of all, we just want to have someone to be around and spend our time with, because we don't want to be left alone. But it's there that we go wrong and start to fall. That's because that person isn't your friend.
A friend is a person who you have a bond of mutual affection with. But then the hard part is finding and making a friend who will respect you and will enjoy spending their time with you. I mean imagine spending time with someone who doesn't care about you. Then you start to wonder what happened to our relationship, or is that person truly a friend of mine. Or am I just a fool to be hanging out with someone who doesn't care? That is where the quote comes in, "If you're constantly having to wonder where you stand with someone, maybe it's time to stop standing and start walking away". This can be applied to anyone.
When I was in Kindergarten, I had this friend (or at least I thought he was a friend) and he would always tease me and make fun of me. And he wouldn't stop. I wouldn't really know what was happening since I was too young to understand what was really going on. I didn't even know what the term bullying meant. One day I really had and burst into tears. I talked with my parents about what happened and they told me that I should stop being friends with that person.
Another time when I was in third grade, I had a friend who everyone liked and I would always hang out with him. He was like the leader of our group and everyone would follow him around and would do what he did, that includes me. It was great to hang out with him because we'd do fun things all the time with everyone else. He would ask us to do things for him and he'd say that he was only asking us to do it was because he was our friend. What I didn't realize was that he was using me. I told my parents about him and they knew what was going on. They told me that I should ask him to do the same things he does to me. I listened to them and that "friend of mine" finally started showing me some respect. But when fourth grade started, he started to grow apart from me, and showed no respect, so I just walked away from being his friend.
I have quite a few more instances where this quote can come in, but that would just go over the limit, and there'd be no fun in reading this blog assignment. These instances have shown me how true this quote is and it applies to everyone.
This quote has the greatest impact on teenagers (and pre-teens). During these ages, we are moving from an easy elementary school life to a middle school life which is soon going to be very complicated. In middle school, many of us change. We become popular, make new friends, and start falling apart with our old friends. As pre-teens and teenagers we always compare ourselves with our friends and classmates. We think about how they are different than us and sometimes develop a feeling of jealousy or dislike.
The quote “If you are constantly having to wonder where you stand with someone, maybe it's time to stop standing and start walking.” applies to me in many instances. One instance that occurred was during fifth grade to seventh grade. I had a friend in fifth grade and I used to hang out with her a lot. I hung out with her in sixth grade as well, but in sixth grade, having classes together, she started asking me for answers on homework and other assignment, in a kind manner. Later, I decided to ask her for answers to an assignment to see if she would help me in the same way that I helped her. And, well she told me that she doesn’t have the answers, even though she did. I soon realized that she was just using me. As seventh grade started, we rarely talk to each other. We are not really that good of friends anymore.
A second instance where this quote applies to me is when I was in fourth grade. I was new to the school that year and I had no one to really talk with. I had no friends there. At recess one day, someone called me over to play with them. I was happy to not be the lonely person on the playground. I used to hangout with her and her group of friends. She was in the same class as me, and many times we were put as partners to work together. She wouldn’t do any work!! I was the one that did the work and she just copies it down, as if I am her classwork machine!! After some time, I realized that she was using me, I stopped hanging out as much with her. I used to talk with her from time to time, until sixth grade. As seventh grade started, we don’t talk with each other at all. In fifth grade, I made friends with three people that I am still great friends with today.
These are not the only two instances where this quote applies to me. Multiple instances have occurred in my life so far, that apply to this quote. When we continually compare ourselves to our peers, as many teenagers do, it soon becomes a habit that is hard to get rid of. Be proud of who you are and focus on your future goals and accomplishments without comparing yourselves to your classmates, is exactly what the message this quote is trying to spread.
As you grow older, there are friendships that come and go. Some can be considered friendships that wore out, while others can be considered betrayals. Some are even considered fake friendships - where someone just uses you for their benefit and throws you away when they are done.
All of these hurt deeply, piercing your heart as they go. Dealing with them is never fun, and always ends in someone fuming with multiple emotions.
Most of these “friendships” are held during your younger years - along with your teenage. During younger years, people do not really understand when these kinds of friendships are occurring, because they trust that friend with their whole heart and wide eyes. When that person does not talk to you, you feel confused, and only attempt harder to talk to them. That is when they spit at you, and stay away themselves. It is only when you get older do you understand what that friend, that lovely word you called for such a nasty person, did was out of poor spite - and you start to feel both angry at them and sorrow for yourself.
When people are in their teenage years, they have very close friends that they share everything to, and when that very friend lets them down, they don’t stay themselves. They change - usually for the worse -, acting like someone that the aren’t, in a drastic attempt to fit in. Other times, teens know that a friend is betraying them or going to let them down, but they still stick with that friend, because at that stage, fitting in is the most important thing in their mindset. They do not want to be odd, they do not want to do unique. They want to be another face in the crowd, and they call that fitting in. They do not know to start walking…
Of the three so-called friendships mentioned, sadly, I have experienced every single one of them, some numerous times.
When I was in preschool, I became very good friends with a girl - whom I was friends with all the way until third grade. That is when chaos and betrayal all occurred. That very friend who I trusted with my whole heart decided to tell the gossip girl of the grade a huge secret of mine. The next day, almost the whole grade knew, and I became the laughingstock of the grade. No one wanted to talk to me, other than to mock me. When I questioned my friend about this, she just shrugged her shoulders and stated that the gossip girl wanted to know. That is what hurt me the most of the whole incident. Not that I was the laughingstock, not that no one wanted to talk to me. Just that my friend did what she did. That incident hit me really hard, and influenced all my decisions that I had made in the future, some very bad - from the negative influence of that incident. From then on, I trusted no one, unless I was quite sure that they were not in my grade, and that I had some secrets about them. As sick as that is - it sadly was true at that time.
The next year, in fourth grade, I met this really nice girl who had newly started attending my school. Her nice personality adding to her innocent soul opened me up, and I started talking to her, telling her things, and whatever else friends do. What I did not notice though at that time was that whenever I was talking, she used to give a small smile, but her eyes were glassy, as if she was not paying attention, nor did she care. Then, whenever she talked, she expected me to be giddy and excited - which I had noticed at that time, but falsely thought that she was doing the same. Most of the time, all she wanted to talk about was another really good friend of mine. If I brought up another topic, her fake face would show up, but disappear once we started talking about that friend. I didn’t this was weird at the time, first, because I was young, and second, because I just assumed she was shy. The shyness, I understood - because that girl was the “popular girl” of the grade. One day, she pleaded for me to introduce her, and so I did. They hit well off right at the start - which I wasn’t too jealous about, as they both were good friends to me - or so I assumed.
This was at the end of the school year, so summer break struck, and everyone separated. I didn’t talk to both of them as often, because I was young at that time, and social media, texting, and calling, weren’t options I really thought about. One time though, we all were coincidentally at the mall at the same time, and saw each other. Or more so, I saw the two of them walking together. I raced up to catch up with them, and they saw me, but didn’t even say hi. When I moved closer, they turned away and walked in the other direction. That is when I knew how the friendship between the “popular girl” and me was broken - and we had split apart, and half of the blame went to the new friend, who had used me for her benefit.
Again, two friendships were cut, all of them proving not to be real friends. All in two grades. This broke me apart more than ever - and when I moved here for 5th grade, I was very closed of myself. Secrets were not to be spilled to anyone but people that I was sure wouldn’t spill in any way. That was my new rule, and I still abide by that rule to this day.
In 5th grade, I met some very lovely people that I am friends with to this day, and while I am a bit open to them -- those past incidents have hit me quite hard, and I have learned to not be too open, even to those who seem really trustworthy.
From all these experiences, I was the one feeling the most pain, and now that I think back to those moments, I feel as if I should have done much differently. For the first incident, there wasn’t much I could do, because that was not something that I could predict, but for both of my latter friends, I could have done something. For the first one, her glassy eyes and faraway look should have been the first warning, and the second should have been her questioning about that friend the whole time. I should have known that she was using me in a way - and just left her and her friendship to find better friends. For the third person, we both just seemed to have moved away from each other, or rather, she moved away from me. Throughout the school year, I had this small feeling that she seemed to be ignoring me or ditching me sometimes, but I still stuck with her. Most of my friends were her friends, and since she was the most popular and well-known one, I knew that my friends would stick to her. That sole reason kept me clinging to her side, as stupid as can be.
If I had known this quote before, “If you’re constantly having to wonder where you stand with someone, maybe it's time to stop standing and start walking,” my life would have been totally different. My current friends are always scolding me for not telling them secrets, but as much as I want to, my past experiences, which I could have changed, leave me scarred. If only I had started walking. Now though, is not the time to regret the bad decision, but to keep this mind for future references. When I feel something is wrong in a relationship between me with another person, I should start walking. I should start walking…
The quote “If you are constantly having to wonder where you stand with someone, maybe it's time to stop standing and start walking”, best applies to pre-teens and teenagers. At this stage in life, people shift from elementary school to middle school and are surrounded by more people daily. Consequently, new friendships are formed, but old friendships may wither away due to different schedules, changing personalities, or conflicts. I interpreted the quote as meaning that when you wonder too much about if you're truly friends with someone or not, it's better to end the friendship and find new friends. During the pre-teen and teen years, relationships change and people who were the best of friends may grow apart or become enemies. I've experienced this a few times myself. One time the quote applied to me was during fourth grade. I had moved here and quickly became friends with a girl who lived nearby. While it was fun to hang out with her, she would ignore me if a friend she had known longer was present. Her other friend lived near us as well, and would visit us sometimes, either at my house or my friend's house. She was friendly to me as well, but only talked to me if our friend wasn't there. She even knocked on my door a few times to call my friend over to hang out, but didn't bother to invite me along. Instead of becoming part of a small group of friends as I thought I would have when I first met them, I became a substitute friend for both of them if one or the other wasn't available. At the time, I didn't understand why they ignored me when they hung out with each other and questioned if we were really friends. Eventually, I found better friends and stopped speaking to the other two. Another instance where the quote applies occurred with three of my friends from fifth grade. We didn't have any issues with each other, but as time went on and everyone went from elementary school to middle school, we started growing apart. One of my friends went to a different middle school, and the only time we see each other is during music G&T. Even then, we never talk to each other anymore. During fifth grade, we messaged each other often, but in the summer before middle school, we messaged each other less often until we stopped talking to each other. Another one of my friends started to hang out with other people, and as we don't have any classes together, we grew apart. The third friend and I remained good friends for a longer time, but she moved away and we never message each other anymore. I was confused where my friendship with each person stood, but made new friends and moved on. Instances like these are common in a pre-teen's and teen's life. The quote, “If you are constantly having to wonder where you stand with someone, maybe it's time to stop standing and start walking”, means that we need to be smart about who we choose to be our friends and end friendships that cause us to act differently or question the friendship far too much.
7th grade. Middle school. Teen years. This is the time that many decisions are made. This is probably the time that is packed with decisions to make. You can choose to learn something new everday, maintain good grades, and become the best student you want. Or you could be that kid that just messes around trying to think they’re funny and have no clue of what they are doing in high school. I’m not saying that you can’t have fun, but there are sometimes that you have to be serious and look at yourself and ask yourself, “ Am I really prepared for high school. Are the people I hang out with, the people that would help me out at anytime. I am just being a follower, or am I actually trying to do things on my own.” These are the questions that everyone has to ask themselves, even me. No one is perfect, but we can try to be the best that we can be.
I know that it is hard when it comes to making decisions like giving up being a follower. Everyone wants to fit in with their peers, even I do. To be honest, sometimes we all do the same things that all of our friends do, sometimes it's the right thing and other times, it's the wrong thing.We shouldn't look at if we are standing with our friends or not. If we know that they aren’t right, we should go on our own path.
I remember in elementary school, I always use to do what my friend use to. I would always follow what he would do. I would never think if it was right or wrong, I would do it just because he was doing it. But, I realized that it wasn’t right that I was always doing what he was doing. So, I did exactly what the quote says, “... stop standing and start walking.” I stopped following him, and then I started walking. I did what I thought what was right, I did what I wanted to do on my own, and after that I didn't follow anyone for doing something.
After that, I never followed anyone. Don’t know if anyone ever followed me, but I didn’t. The only time I followed someone was when it was the right thing. The only difference this time was that I thought about it before I do anything.
Each and every one of us have our own special weaknesses and strengths. These talents and failures may range from personal pride (hubris), to even personal loyalty. However, we must all agree upon the fact that one shared weakness among all humans is that we tend to be very comparative amongst ourselves and the people around us. The quote “If you're constantly having to wonder where you stand with someone, maybe it’s time to stop standing and start walking” enforces a lot of this profound weakness in humans. People tend to behave in a way where they always compare themselves to others. For example, when they get something valuable and worthwhile, all of the excitement is centered on that particular object. Eventually, however, when someone else proves to obtain something much more valuable, common human nature kicks in and we all start wondering where we rank between our fellow individuals. Several times throughout the progress of my life, I have experienced this firsthand, both in the points of view of third and first person. When I was in elementary school, I had a friend named Jared. He seemed to be an excellent friend, so I always hung out with him during free time, or recess, at school. Everything was going routine until one day he came to school, and began acting different. Nothing I had, up to this point, was able to explain this newfound situation, but he started hanging out with, as one might call them, the “popular” individuals. Luckily for me, I still had plenty of other friends to hang out with. Unfortunately, I had befriended Jared quite intently, so my loyalty towards him was far too great to discard. Eventually, he began to force me into doing things I would never have wanted to do, such as getting in trouble simply for the worth of a laugh. It was around this stage when I wondered where I stood in Jared’s mind. I had always been a good friend to him, yet he coldly turned on my back the first chance he got. This quote helps remind me that each and every one of us is a unique soul, and so it does not matter whether we rank low in the eyes of others. The next year, when I was in the third grade, I begun to hang out more with my other friends. In short, the end result of this chaotic learning lesson is that I finally have friends who are as loyal to me as I am to them. Another time where a similar situation arose that forced me to “stop standing and start walking” was when I was visiting some old friends in another state. I thought that they would be the same as when I had befriended them before, fun and a good influence, but the moment I got there, I had a cold feeling that they too, like Jared, had morphed for the worse. Eventually, I did find out this to be the case, and so I “started walking” once more. Conclusively, this quote is one that is like no other. It helps each and every one of us to ponder about how we live our lives. Do we live them at the hands of our manipulative so-called friends? Or do we act as our own self, and “start walking?" Life for an adolescent teenager is proven to be rocky enough, but with the peer pressure and the determined will to do what is right, things get much more problematic. However, this simple sentence gives us all a reminder that we are each our own self, and nothing should be able to alter or change that.
In my opinion, this quote is really talking about the meaning of one exact thing: friendship. The friends you enjoy with are supposed to be hand-picked by yourself. No one else picks your best friends but you. Here comes the problem though; there might be some instances where these so called “friends” aren’t really friends at all. We’re talking about the backstabbers and the gossip-spreaders and all those other peers who try to act like a true friend but are really just a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Currently, most of us are in our teenage or tween (“pre-teens” meaning from the ages of 10-12) years. Life is not going our way and most likely all of us are being challenged by some sort of obstacle. In this quote, it is describing the hurdle of choosing friends. Although the people who we study with regularly live close by, in a few years, after most of us have reached college and the times to pass, most of our lives will not intersect anymore and we will all most likely be taking different paths, each one varying from another’s. Until that time comes it’s important be close with close friends who you respect. Speaking of respect, I’m pretty sure no one wants a friend who mistreats them or hurts them in any other way. That’s why it is absolutely important to choose friends wisely. Now I know I sound like one of those “sages” who say wisdom-related proverbs and whatnot, but it is true. If the friends you hang out with are not worthy of your trust or do not acknowledge for who you are, then they are not friends but mere people you see sometimes. What the quote is basically trying to say is that if you can’ figure out where you are with someone or “where you stand with them”, the best option is to move on. Usually, if something is out of our grasp and it will probably be impossible to make it happen, it’s best to just forget and live life normally again. Although, there might be some people who think that “Nothing is impossible” and no matter what, “Never give up”, sometimes its best to avoid something that cannot be done other than trying your hardest but still failing. In this case, it practically refers to the fact of how your relationship is with someone. If a friend does not exactly care about you and has no intention of being with you, then it’s time to get up and start moving away or “stop standing and start walking”.
Have you ever walked by the popular table and wished that you could be one of them? Have you ever sat with the popular kids but wouldn’t talk at all, looking totally awkward? If you’re one of these people who are reading this now, don’t worry. I’m sure everyone wants to be popular. I admit too that I want to be popular. People would look up to you. You don’t get bullied. You are one of the coolest kids in school. This is a good dream to come true, isn’t it? But let’s just stop and think for a second. Does being popular really matter? Does popularity help you get good grades or get you into a top college? If you are still thinking, the answer’s no. If you sit with someone and you don't feel comfortable, just walk away.
“If you’re constantly having to wonder where you stand with someone, maybe it’s time to stop standing and start walking.” This quote basically talks about choosing the right people to be friends with. Your best friend should always be there for you, will be the shoulder for you to lean on. Friends are not people who want to be with you for what you have, for example, if you won a cash prize of $1,000,000, or you got to meet a celebrity. Trust me, I bet that this has happened to everyone. Take myself for example. When I moved to a new school in first grade, There were a lot of kids that I could choose from to be friends with. I sat with a group of people during lunch, but I never felt included in the group. Then I moved away from the group and then found my best friend. We are still BFF’s now! We do tons of fun girly stuff together (and some secret stuff that I can’t tell you. It is purely CONFIDENTIAL)!
Imagine you walking down the hallways of IMS when you see a huge crowd surrounding someone. You join in the crowd to see who the “celebrity” is. You find out that this is the most popular girl in school. All the girls follow her, and you join in too, because you want to be just like her. But, realize that you don’t have to follow the queen bee. You are your own leader. You don’t have to ask anyone if you look good in that dress, or if you have a great haircut. BE YOURSELF!
You should also be in mind of the consequences. I once got in trouble because of a person who I thought was my friend! This person tricked me into bullying someone else, and I got in big trouble! I then told the teacher that this person told me to, but when the teacher consulted this person, they lied about it, which got me in even more trouble for “lying”! Crazy, right?
In conclusion, what this quote is trying to say is be you. Don’t let anyone change who you are. Just think that “If you’re constantly having to wonder where you stand with someone, maybe it’s time to stop standing and start walking”.
What I understood from this quote is that we should not constantly compare ourselves to another person and feel bad about it. Instead, we should start working to achieve what they have achieved. We compare ourselves to another person for reasons as simple as the fact that they are smarter than us, or stronger than us, or faster than us, or even better at sports than us, etc. But if we do constantly compare ourselves with others, maybe it is time for us to stop comparing ourselves to them, and start giving them a reason to compare themselves to us.
What we all do after observing someone successful, for instance a famous athlete or a singer, is lose hope. We lose hope and question ourselves whether we will ever be as good as they are. Instead of losing hope, we should get hope after seeing an ordinary person like us becoming successful. When we turn our heads and look into the eyes of a successful person, we can’t help but compare ourselves to them. We do not think about the work they did to get to where they are today. If we did, we would work just as hard to get up there with them. We give up on the dreams we have because we keep comparing ourselves to successful people and lose hope. This has applied to me numerous times when I didn’t think I could ever be as good as some other successful person. For instance, when I first started playing soccer, I was terrible at it. I was the worst on the team compared to my teammates, not even being able to move the ball around. I did not want to play soccer ever again. Later, I saw how good players like Lionel Messi and Neymar Jr. were on TV and got inspired. Also my parents told me to just keep on practicing and keep on trying even when I fail. Now, I am a twelve year old playing in a fifteen year old travel team league, getting offers from many other travel teams. Practice definitely makes us perfect.
There are many types of situations where this quote can be applied to us. Not only towards someone famous, but also towards someone who sits next to us in class, and walks with us home, in the form of our friends. When we see something that our friend constantly surpasses us in, we get aggravated. But we don’t feel sad but rather mad. Mad at ourselves for not being as good as them. Instead of moping and getting mad, what we should do is work. Work towards it and surprise your friend. I was the slowest runner in elementary school, right behind everybody. My friends were way faster than I was, and I was upset about it, so what I did was run whenever and wherever I could. That helped me get a lot faster and eventually get into the track team in elementary school.
We all compare ourselves to other individuals all the time. But we should also be working toward our own dreams. As I have learned from my own experiences, don’t just constantly compare yourself with someone, but work towards what you want to do and your ambitions.
“If you are constantly having to wonder where you stand with someone, maybe it’s time to stop standing and start walking.” - Anonymous I can very much relate to the quote above, and I am sure most teenagers can as well. Every time I am with my friends, I find myself with a few questions- are they just pretending to be nice to me? Or do they really consider me as a friend? I feel like most of the people in my grade don’t really have “true” friends, including me. I know that if I tell my friends I need them, they will bail on me if something else pops up. And then when I start wondering where I stand with them. If you are constantly having to wonder if your friends are just using you or if they consider you as a true friend, it is a sign that you have to stop standing- being with them, and start walking- make new friends. When I was in sixth grade, I had a big group of friends and it was a little hard for me to spend time with all of them. Then later, we started having fights because they thought that I don’t like them and I gossip about them to those I spend time with. That was a time I felt that- don’t you do the same thing to me when you spending time with your own friends? That time I felt a bit out of place, we had multiple, giant, elephant sized fights! And later our group just drifted apart, people moved to different places, some people stopped talking to each other and such. I should have stopped standing with them, and I should have started walking. But, to this day, I try to make a conversation with those people and it is never easy. Now that I know this quote, I hits me with a bang, and a why didn’t I do this before feeling. Now, I know that I can start walking. I know that I don’t have to make myself wait for those people. One more instance for which this quote would have been the most helpful to me was when I was friends with a “popular” girl and I was really proud of myself because I was a “wanna-be” back then even though I didn’t know it. I thought she was my “real” friend and that I could talk to her about anything. I used to help her with her homework and she used to help me with my outfits everyday. Turns out, she was only using me. She didn’t want me to hang around her while looking like a scumbag, so she told me what to wear and she didn't want fail her classes so she used me to do her homework! I was really happy that I had found a true friend, but I didn’t know what she really thought of me, and I regret being friends with her, it always makes me think that other people might be the same as her. In friendships and any other relationships, if you ever feel out of place or used, move on, do what this quote tells you to do. Start Walking! If you keep standing, waiting, for the other person to address the issue, you are only going to hurt yourself. If you ever wonder if a person truly respects you or if you repeatedly have doubts about them, don’t stand for them, walk away from them. There are a lot of other people in the world, and some of them may turn out to be your true, honest, and loyal friends.
Have you ever caught yourself questioning your habits, your possessions, your friends? Have you ever caught yourself questioning where you stand in comparison to others? It happens to me at daily basis, and most times I don't even know I am doing it. I wouldn't call it insecurity but it just something you feel when you find something or someone higher or lower than you. An instance that would fit in this topic the best would be when I receive my test scores of math tests each week. Now this, I am sure, will be something most of my classmates do. When the tests are handed back, the first thing to be done is to compare my score with Abha’s. And I know this for fact that whoever that is knowledged that Abha and I are sisters will compare us both as well. There is always a temptation that whatever happens my score should beat hers. Now I don't know if this is a sibling thing but most people do wish to beat someone at something. The only good side to comparing people is that you are determined. There are several other consequences. To name some, you are constantly looking over the qualities you have and only aiming for those that others have; I look over the fact that I got a 98% and mourn that someone else got a 99%. As Iyanla Vanzant said, “Comparing is an act of violence against your authentic self.” You upset yourself about someone’s success, your self-esteem lowers, you lack confidence, you don't trust yourself and start depending on others. All of this fuss just because you are trying to be someone you know you're not. Another instance would be when I was trying to write an argumentative essay. I clearly wasn’t good at it. ELA wasn’t my strongest subject, nor was using complicated words - I believe when you can say happy why would I use a complicated word such as buoyant. As I read essays of my friends, who were clearly pros at this, I compared mine to theirs. This only made me struggle and try to make mine as good. Michelle Parsons understood this early, she said,“Don't compare yourself to others….That's a battle you can never win.” Why try to do something that you simply don't understand, there are things you are good at, there are others where you may struggle. You don’t need to be a know-it-all. In both instances, all I needed to understand is that I was repeatedly trying to beat someone else, a battle I couldn’t win. I could truly achieve something when I would beat myself, always try to beat the old me. Fix the mistakes I made, do better than before. This would be the way I would reach a success that was my own. Become my own self. Trying to beat someone else would be a never ending book you are trying to finish, there is always a new chapter waiting. At least when you're trying to beat yourself, you have satisfaction, confidence, and trust that you are getting better.
“If you’re constantly having to wonder where you stand with someone, maybe it’s time to stop standing and start walking.”
This quote addresses one of the most stressful aspects of a pre-teen’s life. The social aspect. In the awkward years between being a child and becoming an adult, your instinct is to try to fit in with people, to have that ‘childhood friend’ or someone that you can share all your secrets with. Someone that you can trust and respect. Someone that might not be able to cheer you up in your worst of times, but is willing to cry with you. However, these friends are few and far in between.
I think that outside sources may even influence this urge to have close friends, such as books and movies, where the main character has a whole cast of ‘typical’ friends. You might not even notice it, but you’re trying to fit into the mold of what society dictates a ‘pre-teen’ is. This might cause you to make rash decisions, or look past things that you normally wouldn’t. This includes being friends with people who don’t respect you, getting into trouble for them, or being used by them. Unfortunately, as other blogs have proved, these instances aren’t unusual. In fact, almost everyone, even at only 12 or 13 years old, has experienced something of the sort. Betrayal, lies, gossip, the whole package. Eventually, the drama ends with the parties involved diverging from each other, never able to rekindle what their ‘friendship’ was again. Despite this certainly not being the end of the world, although you might think it is at that time, it can still be an emotionally and mentally tiring process that you should avoid. That is where this quote comes in handy. If you find yourself frequently wondering how your ‘friends’ perceive you and why they act as they do, don’t just stew in your thoughts. Confront them. Better to know a hurtful truth than hide in a comforting lie. Make sure that you both are clear on your relationship, whether it be a platonic one or a romantic one. Never let the problem go unapproached, until the inevitable day when everything comes crashing down. I’ve been lucky enough not to have any such incident happen to me yet, but I’ve seen it occur all around me, with classmates, friends, and family. People gradually drifting apart from the due process of time, or lies being revealed like a flash of lightning on a clear sunny day, leaving destruction in their wake. You’re left wondering things like, ‘where did I go wrong?’ or ‘who’s fault is it?’. It’s no one’s fault, just the consequence of avoidance and ignorance on both ends. Don’t just stand there, hoping that everything will solve itself. Walk. Run. Do whatever it takes to find good friendships, and do whatever it takes to get rid of bad ones.
“Friendship means understanding, not agreement. It means forgiveness, not forgetting. It means the memories last, even if contact is lost.”
“If you’re constantly having to wonder where you stand with someone, maybe it’s time to stop standing and start walking.” This quote can touch many in different situations, in number of ways. TO adults, it might be describing their relationship status, to colleagues, their rank at the office, to classmates, constantly trying to be the teacher’s pet, and to pre-teens, friends. At a young age we are taught to never to leave anyone out, to always include the excluded. However, once we grow, so does our desires. We no longer care to be kind, and forget how rich friendship is. Friends are the ones who lift you, when you’re down, they’re the ones, who help you smile, and they’re the ones who are close to understanding how you feel. But, that's not the case once we leave elementary. When kids become “teens”, their choices change rapidly, and they don’t truly know what they’re doing, and whom they’re hurting. They start to hang out with people with similar, more “grown-up” interests, or for fame. Anyhow, by excluding the old friend out of the group, but still hanging out with them when there’s no one to chat to, and making them feel like the third-wheel, is how this quote speaks to me. Most know the scarred feeling of a third-wheel. You feel left-out because secrets are being shared in front of you, but you’ve no clue. Even upon asking to know, you still remain clueless. Everyone hang out, and have a blast, and you find out from someone who's not even your friend, that even that person was with your friends. It could be big things such as not inviting you to parties, but then sticking to you when there’s a company around, or little things such as simply ignoring you in group conversations. These events causes anxiety in one, especially a teenager, and they start to blame themselves for being boring, or awkward which is why they wonder, they are being left out. When in reality, it’s not their fault. When one feels left out, they should walk away, because if the people who call themselves your friend, but doesn’t give you a respected place in their lives, you’re constantly knocking at a dead end. One have to realize, that you don’t really mean as much to the other person, beside a backup. It’ll take a lot of courage, but sooner or later, you’ll find friends who deserve you, and your companionship. I happen to get myself in situation where I always felt like the third leg. I’m a person who enjoys little groups of close friends, so whenever I meet someone like me, I introduce them to my old friends. And out of nowhere, they all connect, leaving me out. Making me wonder if I’m really worthy of such. In these situation, I always have to wait to speak out my thoughts, walk behind the group, since the sidewalk, and the school’s hallway is made for two people. This annoys me, because sometimes, I’m the center of attention, and the other times, everyone just ignores me as if I’m not visible to them. After wandering for awhile, I decided to use the cliche method and tell my “friends” that I feel like a third-wheel, and they always reply with a shrug or a smile. So, in order to be appreciated among the group, I tried to stay away from them for a while, but that affected me even more, since before they at least chose me for a backup, but after the distance, they even forgot how I appear. They best technique is to have other friends outside the group, so you don’t feel left out, or simply walk out of the fake friendship all together and have positive folks around you. Folks who help you soar in the skies, instead of those who drag you in the darkest of pits where you end up blaming yourself for being who you are.
To be friends with somebody is basically like dating someone in a way. You both have to put in an effort, and if you don’t you’re bound to result in failure. Standing there wondering how you belong with someone, or if you are truly meant to be friends is supposed to happen, but only 3 or 4 times a year. We’re teenagers now, and all we want is more friends or to be completely left alone. However, those of us who do make a lot of friends, are always question ate on wither we made the right decision or not. Backing down is one of the things that you should do if that question constantly comes up in your mind. They never liked you in the first place, and now if you constantly are wondering if they do appreciate you, you’re basically playing yourself. All you’re really doing is setting yourself up for utter failure, as the friendship you are currently in is considered fake, useless, and overall dumb on your end. People will never become satisfied with one another unless they are assured that who they are with respects them, understand them, and most importantly care for them so. Knowing when to walk is the best part. Walking away from a broken friendship makes the one whom was suffering from it feel free and ecstatic and the one who broke it feel disgusted and busted. When someone in a friendship is making you feel like a pile of pulp while they are disregarding your sadness and only worrying about themselves, which is an excellent point to come to the realization that you have been pushed over a limit. That is when you need to walk away, and realize that this entire time, you have not been helping yourself, but you have been playing yourself in the worst way possible. You have been suffering from an unhealthy friendship that’s been holding you back from your true potential to say so the least. If you find yourself stuck where you are your only friend, there’s no point in even needing that friend anymore. A realization that the world needs to make is not everyone is your friend, and sometimes the people that play as your friends are flat out using you for something, while you truly care for them, and when that is the scenario, you must walk away. In the end friendship is friendship , and a true friendship will truly hurt forever if you walk away from it. But, a bad friendship like most of the popular kids have can be ruined in a nutshell and literally haunt you for the rest of your life. Having a small group of friends who truly care about you is supreme to having a whole bunch of friends who literally have no meaning for you and no hope for you. Life is about choosing wisely, and friendships are one of those things that, if you mess up on, it can hurt you a lot. - Taneesh
Life is an endless competition to solve a mystery and in this mystery you’re always trying to look for another clue about your competition In order to beat them. While you are doing that you will have to compare yourself to all of them to see if you are ahead behind or right next to them. So instead of trying to get even further ahead you stop to see how you are compared to someone. That is when they surpass you and get ahead while you’re still stuck there thinking if you have surpassed them yet only to find out that you haven’t. In life, everyone is trying their best to surpass everyone. While we are in that process we sometimes have to ask ourselves am I ahead of that person yet? When you are in that kind of situation think of it like this “If you are constantly having to wonder where you stand with someone, maybe it’s time to stop standing and start walking.” That quote will help you in the long run in this world where there is no end to superiority. There are many different stories that each person has to say about comparing but they usually think of it as they did better than me, now I need to work double hard. My story is a little different though, in my story I treat someone else as a higher-up and don’t care. This story was actually my everyday life as if a few months ago. When ever I do something with my friends I always treat my friends as superior to me. I know in my head that my friends would never think of me as lower than them or compare me to them in any way but equal. Although my case is totally different in the quote it says you should stop standing and start walking for me I can forget about standing I’m still sitting. I cant get myself to even think of my friends as equals. Then one day I had no choice I had to take lead and compare my self to my friend we both had to compete against each other in a project so I couldn’t hide behind him. That made me feel happy because we had good fun. The best part was that I got to skip standing, I went straight from sitting to walking. I was trying my best to have a better project than him. We compared everything from color to grade. When we both decided that in the end I was the winner I finally walked past him. I still couldn’t change the fact about myself that I was better than my friends, but know I accept the fact that I can stand next to them. Now this quote will help me improve even more I have to stop standing and start walking not towards him but past him. I have to get up and make him follow me. I cant just keep comparing myself where instead I can keep going ahead so that I can figure out for sure that I will be ahead of him by the time I am ready to find out. The main thing I am trying to portray through my story is that I have to stop trying to walk next to my friend and start going in front of him. When I can truly do that then only will I be successful in this stage of life. I must surpass not catch up. You can think of it as a game instead of playing defensive and trying to make sure he doesn’t get points go on the offensive and get the points for yourself that’s the only way you can win. You can’t win a game without getting points you can only try to make it a tie, But think about t why would you want to go for a tie when you could just take the win.
My opinion of this quote basically refers to friendship. If I don’t know my place in a friendship then it is not worthwhile the time to be friends with that individual. You never know if that friend is meant for you until you know that they are good people and that they are helpful and kind people. You want a friend that doesn’t betray you or abandon you after a few years. You want friends that last a long time or even forever. The term BFF means Best Friend Forever. The forever is the part that should stand out in every friend. If your friend isn’t forever why bother. You want the friends that when you are older they are still there supporting you. Not all people are nice people but some are. And you have to find those people and create your own group of friends. Once you go forward in school life you and your friends might start to seperate but you want to keep the bond between you and your friends for years to come. Remember these friends love the person you are and love to hangout with you for that reason. Friends are also there for you. When you're sick and need homework or just company to keep busy. A friend should always stick near you in all situations because that’s what friends do. If they don’t stick by you or don’t care about you, they're not your friends and they don’t deserve you.”But those who abandon their friends are worst than scum”(Kakashi Hatake, Naruto).A good friend is a person who enjoys being with you and admires your personal skills and traits. They should be a person you smile to see everyday and that you would miss if they went somewhere.These are the qualities that a really good friend has. This should help someone make lots of GOOD friends.Because in life friendship is all that matters.
We all want to be the most popular kid in school or become the next homecoming king/queen. Others look forward to being teacher’s pet or the class clown. However, a lot of people hide their inner feelings in order to achieve what they think people would like. They do it for others instead of expressing who they really are. They are so eager to be a “ part” of a “squad” and end up faking their personality in all aspects. They want to be noticed and wants their name in the spotlight. It all falls under the words, “ constantly having to wonder where you stand with someone”.
ReplyDeleteI'm not going to lie, but sometimes it's hard to fit in when you're the only person who stands out. Sitting alone at a lunch table is never fun and being the odd one out of a group activity can be publicly embarrassing. That's when you go into fake mode and start pretending to act like the cool kid and forget about who you really are. When long period of time pass, you forget how to be like yourself and regret what you did in the beginning which could possibly change your whole life. For example, when high school turns the corner there will always be that group who uses drugs and cigarettes. Deep down inside, you know it's the wrong path to take, but you know their the popular kids and did what they peer pressured you into doing. That's when you have to “ stop standing and start walking”.
In my life, I've experienced this feeling multiple times without myself realizing it. When I first started middle school, I couldn't figure out where I stood in the group of my peers. Taking on a new chapter in life, everyone changed into something different no matter good or bad. So I didn't know where my personality fitted in. I started by hanging out with my elementary friends as what I thought was the safest way to go. As time gradually moved on, my “friends” changed into a completely new person that wasn't in my favor. But at that point, I didn't know what to do to myself so I decided to copy them and fit into the group of friends that I only had. Even though I knew it wasn't my style, I thought I had to do what I could to just fit it. However, I was wrong. Faking life got extremely tiring in a short amount of time . I didn't deserve to force myself to be part of something I wasn't. Slowly, I faded away from my old friends and started making new friends in school. That's when I realize that it only feels right when you are being yourself. Those who are meant to be in your life will come and those who aren't will leave. It was much simpler said than done, but it feels good to have true friends and a true self. Even though you may miss your old companions, life moves on and so do people.
In the quote “ If you are constantly having to wonder where you stand with someone, maybe it's time to stop standing and start walking”, it tell us to stop letting your surroundings drag you into being someone you're not. Start becoming your own unique person and pick up your own trends and friends. Be the leader in your life.
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ReplyDeleteG&T 500 Words - May
ReplyDeleteBy: Krish Desai
The quote “If you are constantly having to wonder where you stand with someone, maybe it's time to stop standing and start walking”, is a great quote for teenagers. I personally like it because of the way I interpreted it. When I see this quote I think, if I’m questioning my friendship with someone, I should just walk away from this “friend”, as he or she is not actually a true friend. For example, when I make a friend, and a few days later I start questioning his or her actions, I know it’s time to either avoid/end the friendship or hang out with this person a lot less. Especially one of the more popular kids, if you become friends with them, you’ll probably question their friendship a lot as these kinds of kids will be into drugs and/or will do anything possible to gain popularity (Even if it mean embarrassing you in public). A better friend would be someone who doesn’t care much about popularity but actually friendship, and you will have to be the same. This quote, if all teenagers followed it, would never be peer-pressured into doing the wrong things or taking the wrong path and would have a much better social life. No longer would there be as much drug abuse and bullying in school - and better groups of friends would be formed.
***Continuing Blog on next post as I have reached the Character Limit***
***Continuing Blog on this post as I have reached the Character Limit***
ReplyDeleteI have had an experience similar to this, and it was just after I moved to go to IMS. It was mid-July and I was looking for friends or at least a group of peers that I could hang out with. I didn’t really do much the first two days since I was just moving in, but I called one of my friends on the third day that had once lived in the same area, and he told me that we could search for more friends together. I made many close friends that day, but also a few not so great friends. (To keep their privacy I have decided to name this person Jeff). By the second day, I decided of all the friends I had made Jeff was probably the best and wisest, as he was the oldest and was almost done with middle school. So by the 4th day, I was listening to all of his advice and then started to question my friendship with him. I had learned a lot of information about Jeff by the 4th day, such as he kept alcohol bottles hidden throughout the neighborhood, he even showed me one that was filled! Once I went to his house, I realized that his siblings were all following his lead and would soon become the same person Jeff was, I was fine with that because I thought he was a cool person, even though I was blinded by the truth that he was actually uncool. After that he started giving me advice such as, “Oh get a good brand of shoes, you will get instant popularity” (False statement I would learn later) he even criticized my clothes, which turned out to be something, that if you have good friends, would never be criticized in Middle School. My bigger brother would many times fight Jeff, and I would have honestly no idea why I would soon learn later why. One of my close friends started telling me stories of Jeff, and how he and his siblings were always brewing some type of trouble. They would take pranks way too far (such as stealing), their parents didn’t really care much about what they did, and recently I have learned that Jeff has started smoking E-Cigarettes. After carefully weighing the options one day, and based on my friends and brothers advice, I decided to stop talking to Jeff altogether, plus, he had basically forgotten about us and was hanging out with other people who were almost exactly like him. I started wondering where I stood in his friendship circle and I wondered often about his actions. Were we still friends? Were we close friends? Will getting better shoes make him happy? I decided to quit trying to be his friend, He’s happy with his new friends anyway. I am with much better friends now, one that doesn't want me to change, ones that are not into drugs, and ones that aren’t after popularity but rather bonding with closer and better friends. I have finally found the perfect group of peers where I don’t have to wonder where I stand with them, as I know that I’m one of their best friends and I don't need to change one bit to get a higher status with them.
I have learned first hand what the quote “If you are constantly having to wonder where you stand with someone, maybe it's time to stop standing and start walking” means. I don’t have to change myself to be a better person to my friends, I am who I am and if others can’t respect that, then they aren’t good friends. I shouldn’t constantly have to wonder where I stand with someone nor should I have to change to make them happy. I shouldn’t change my personality or actions to please someone else. I should be honest with myself and happy to be the person I turned out to be. If I ever do need to wonder about my “friend” I know it’s time walk away to get a new, better one.There are plenty of good friends in the world, you just have to find them.
This quote expresses the epitome of comparison between peers your own age or with someone you know very well. One of the most common and destructive daily habit is to constantly compare your life and yourself to other people and their lives. At the end of the day, you pummel your self-esteem to the ground and you create a lot of negative feelings within. Perhaps also outside of yourself, as well.
ReplyDeleteFamous author and writer, Mark Twain, has said that “comparison is the death of joy,” and the science agrees. Research has found that comparing breeds feelings of envy, low self-confidence, and depression, as well as compromises our ability to trust others. While downward comparison, comparing ourselves to those less fortunate, can provide some benefit to one’s sense of self, even this form of comparison comes at a price. It requires that we take pleasure in someone else’s failures or misfortunes in order to feel adequate, which can fuel mean-spirited competitiveness versus collaboration; jealousy versus connection. When comparing leads you to devalue yourself or others you’ve entered dangerous territory. No matter what you do you can pretty much always find someone else in the world that has more than you or are better than you at something. These negative thoughts often lead you into thinking that there is always someone better than you and what you do for this world, as a whole, isn’t as significant as what they are doing.
For example, there are three neighbors living side by side and they are all good friends. One neighbor feels the compulsion to be superior to the other two. So he goes out to buy the best car he can see. Yes, he may feel good for a while when he realizes that he got a nicer car than his neighbor. But a week or two later, he sees someone from the next block with an even finer car than his, and goes back into the cycle of comparison.
Instead of comparing yourself to other people create the habit of comparing yourself to yourself. See how much you have grown, what you have achieved and what progress you have made towards your goals. This habit has the benefit of creating gratitude, appreciation and kindness towards yourself as you observe how far you have come, the obstacles you have overcome and the good stuff you have done. You feel good about yourself without having to think less of other people. In reality, comparing yourself to other doesn’t help you get any closer to your goals.
Ruminating about how someone else is better looking, has more friends, or is more successful than you is both time-consuming and ineffective. Being hard on ourselves actually diminishes motivation and decreases goal completion. If you really want to live a life that feels fulfilling you need to dedicate your time and energy to your own values. To get your focus in the right place ask yourself questions like: When you imagine yourself at the end of your life looking back at what you’ve done, what will be the experiences and accomplishments that will have been most important to you? What kind of person do you want to be? You can use these personal values as the barometer upon which you compare, rather than the accomplishments of those around you.
If comparing is how you evaluate your worth, you will always be losing. In this game of life you will never reach a point where you are better than others in every way and why would you want to be. Part of what makes life awesome and interesting is learning from the talents of others. Instead of trying to be as good as or better than others, focus your energy on being the very best version of yourself. So next time you catch yourself using someone else as a benchmark for your own worth stop and remind yourself how ineffective this strategy really is. Instead, compassionately redirect your energy and attention to your own goals and what is required to achieve them.
~~Reema Sharma
The quote, “If you’re constantly having to wonder where you stand with someone, maybe it’s time to stop standing and start walking,” is very meaningful to people who are pre-teens and teenagers. Around this age, there is changing relationships, especially with friends. In elementary school, people are very close because they are together for many years. The grades aren’t that big and everybody knows each other. Then when you get to middle school, there are way more people in your grade, and you are separated from your elementary school friends, because of your schedule. When I got to middle school, I wanted to be friends with all my elementary school friends, but I soon realized that wasn’t going to happen. I made new friends, and so did everybody else. It’s not always possible to still be friends with them. You might lose contact or you both just change and you don’t think it’s right to still be friends.
ReplyDeleteOver the past few years, I have had a couple of instances where this quote has come into play. The first one was back in elementary school. In second grade, I was really good friends with this girl, and during recess we would always play together. Whenever we had the chance, we would be talking to each other. I thought our friendship was going to last forever. It was always great being with her, and whenever we were together I was happy. Then, the next year when we came back to school, things were just different. We were barely talking to each other and I was so upset. After thinking about it, I realized that she actually wasn’t always that nice to me, even when we were good friends. I couldn’t figure out where I stood with her, so I had to move on. Once I realized this, I started making new friends, and she had her friends.
Another instance where the quote, “If you’re constantly having to wonder where you stand with someone, maybe it’s time to stop standing and start walking,” was at the beginning of middle school. In fifth grade, I was really close with this girl, and I used to go to her house, and we would have tons of fun. At the beginning of middle school, we were still really good friends, but we were only in one class together. The class wasn’t even half the year, so once it was over we had no contact. She was always nice to me, but we just started growing apart. I didn’t really know where our friendship was, and I was confused. For the rest of sixth grade, we didn’t talk to each other much. I just decided to move on, because we didn’t really have a friendship anymore. We started becoming friends again this year, but we still don’t have as strong of a friendship as we did a couple of years ago. These instances showed me how this quote can be true, and I realized how meaningful it is.
Most of by now are teenagers. And these are the years in life where we have absolutely no clue what we are doing. We don't know what we want, or what we want to be. And of course, we'll do anything to be within the popular crowd. And I mean it. Unless you have your own little fan club or you're satisfied with all of the friends (which I am). As teenagers we have many changes in our daily lives and we have changes in our mood. We have changes in our social behavior and emotional behavior. We really want to know where we belong in our world. We might start having strong emotions and mood swings. And most of all, we just want to have someone to be around and spend our time with, because we don't want to be left alone. But it's there that we go wrong and start to fall. That's because that person isn't your friend.
ReplyDeleteA friend is a person who you have a bond of mutual affection with. But then the hard part is finding and making a friend who will respect you and will enjoy spending their time with you. I mean imagine spending time with someone who doesn't care about you. Then you start to wonder what happened to our relationship, or is that person truly a friend of mine. Or am I just a fool to be hanging out with someone who doesn't care? That is where the quote comes in, "If you're constantly having to wonder where you stand with someone, maybe it's time to stop standing and start walking away". This can be applied to anyone.
When I was in Kindergarten, I had this friend (or at least I thought he was a friend) and he would always tease me and make fun of me. And he wouldn't stop. I wouldn't really know what was happening since I was too young to understand what was really going on. I didn't even know what the term bullying meant. One day I really had and burst into tears. I talked with my parents about what happened and they told me that I should stop being friends with that person.
Another time when I was in third grade, I had a friend who everyone liked and I would always hang out with him. He was like the leader of our group and everyone would follow him around and would do what he did, that includes me. It was great to hang out with him because we'd do fun things all the time with everyone else. He would ask us to do things for him and he'd say that he was only asking us to do it was because he was our friend. What I didn't realize was that he was using me. I told my parents about him and they knew what was going on. They told me that I should ask him to do the same things he does to me. I listened to them and that "friend of mine" finally started showing me some respect. But when fourth grade started, he started to grow apart from me, and showed no respect, so I just walked away from being his friend.
I have quite a few more instances where this quote can come in, but that would just go over the limit, and there'd be no fun in reading this blog assignment. These instances have shown me how true this quote is and it applies to everyone.
This quote has the greatest impact on teenagers (and pre-teens). During these ages, we are moving from an easy elementary school life to a middle school life which is soon going to be very complicated. In middle school, many of us change. We become popular, make new friends, and start falling apart with our old friends. As pre-teens and teenagers we always compare ourselves with our friends and classmates. We think about how they are different than us and sometimes develop a feeling of jealousy or dislike.
ReplyDeleteThe quote “If you are constantly having to wonder where you stand with someone, maybe it's time to stop standing and start walking.” applies to me in many instances. One instance that occurred was during fifth grade to seventh grade. I had a friend in fifth grade and I used to hang out with her a lot. I hung out with her in sixth grade as well, but in sixth grade, having classes together, she started asking me for answers on homework and other assignment, in a kind manner. Later, I decided to ask her for answers to an assignment to see if she would help me in the same way that I helped her. And, well she told me that she doesn’t have the answers, even though she did. I soon realized that she was just using me. As seventh grade started, we rarely talk to each other. We are not really that good of friends anymore.
A second instance where this quote applies to me is when I was in fourth grade. I was new to the school that year and I had no one to really talk with. I had no friends there. At recess one day, someone called me over to play with them. I was happy to not be the lonely person on the playground. I used to hangout with her and her group of friends. She was in the same class as me, and many times we were put as partners to work together. She wouldn’t do any work!! I was the one that did the work and she just copies it down, as if I am her classwork machine!! After some time, I realized that she was using me, I stopped hanging out as much with her. I used to talk with her from time to time, until sixth grade. As seventh grade started, we don’t talk with each other at all. In fifth grade, I made friends with three people that I am still great friends with today.
These are not the only two instances where this quote applies to me. Multiple instances have occurred in my life so far, that apply to this quote. When we continually compare ourselves to our peers, as many teenagers do, it soon becomes a habit that is hard to get rid of. Be proud of who you are and focus on your future goals and accomplishments without comparing yourselves to your classmates, is exactly what the message this quote is trying to spread.
BY: ADITI PAREKH
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ReplyDeleteAs you grow older, there are friendships that come and go. Some can be considered friendships that wore out, while others can be considered betrayals. Some are even considered fake friendships - where someone just uses you for their benefit and throws you away when they are done.
ReplyDeleteAll of these hurt deeply, piercing your heart as they go. Dealing with them is never fun, and always ends in someone fuming with multiple emotions.
Most of these “friendships” are held during your younger years - along with your teenage. During younger years, people do not really understand when these kinds of friendships are occurring, because they trust that friend with their whole heart and wide eyes. When that person does not talk to you, you feel confused, and only attempt harder to talk to them. That is when they spit at you, and stay away themselves. It is only when you get older do you understand what that friend, that lovely word you called for such a nasty person, did was out of poor spite - and you start to feel both angry at them and sorrow for yourself.
When people are in their teenage years, they have very close friends that they share everything to, and when that very friend lets them down, they don’t stay themselves. They change - usually for the worse -, acting like someone that the aren’t, in a drastic attempt to fit in. Other times, teens know that a friend is betraying them or going to let them down, but they still stick with that friend, because at that stage, fitting in is the most important thing in their mindset. They do not want to be odd, they do not want to do unique. They want to be another face in the crowd, and they call that fitting in. They do not know to start walking…
Of the three so-called friendships mentioned, sadly, I have experienced every single one of them, some numerous times.
When I was in preschool, I became very good friends with a girl - whom I was friends with all the way until third grade. That is when chaos and betrayal all occurred. That very friend who I trusted with my whole heart decided to tell the gossip girl of the grade a huge secret of mine. The next day, almost the whole grade knew, and I became the laughingstock of the grade. No one wanted to talk to me, other than to mock me. When I questioned my friend about this, she just shrugged her shoulders and stated that the gossip girl wanted to know. That is what hurt me the most of the whole incident. Not that I was the laughingstock, not that no one wanted to talk to me. Just that my friend did what she did. That incident hit me really hard, and influenced all my decisions that I had made in the future, some very bad - from the negative influence of that incident. From then on, I trusted no one, unless I was quite sure that they were not in my grade, and that I had some secrets about them. As sick as that is - it sadly was true at that time.
The next year, in fourth grade, I met this really nice girl who had newly started attending my school. Her nice personality adding to her innocent soul opened me up, and I started talking to her, telling her things, and whatever else friends do. What I did not notice though at that time was that whenever I was talking, she used to give a small smile, but her eyes were glassy, as if she was not paying attention, nor did she care. Then, whenever she talked, she expected me to be giddy and excited - which I had noticed at that time, but falsely thought that she was doing the same. Most of the time, all she wanted to talk about was another really good friend of mine. If I brought up another topic, her fake face would show up, but disappear once we started talking about that friend. I didn’t this was weird at the time, first, because I was young, and second, because I just assumed she was shy. The shyness, I understood - because that girl was the “popular girl” of the grade. One day, she pleaded for me to introduce her, and so I did. They hit well off right at the start - which I wasn’t too jealous about, as they both were good friends to me - or so I assumed.
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ReplyDeleteThis was at the end of the school year, so summer break struck, and everyone separated. I didn’t talk to both of them as often, because I was young at that time, and social media, texting, and calling, weren’t options I really thought about. One time though, we all were coincidentally at the mall at the same time, and saw each other. Or more so, I saw the two of them walking together. I raced up to catch up with them, and they saw me, but didn’t even say hi. When I moved closer, they turned away and walked in the other direction. That is when I knew how the friendship between the “popular girl” and me was broken - and we had split apart, and half of the blame went to the new friend, who had used me for her benefit.
Again, two friendships were cut, all of them proving not to be real friends. All in two grades. This broke me apart more than ever - and when I moved here for 5th grade, I was very closed of myself. Secrets were not to be spilled to anyone but people that I was sure wouldn’t spill in any way. That was my new rule, and I still abide by that rule to this day.
In 5th grade, I met some very lovely people that I am friends with to this day, and while I am a bit open to them -- those past incidents have hit me quite hard, and I have learned to not be too open, even to those who seem really trustworthy.
From all these experiences, I was the one feeling the most pain, and now that I think back to those moments, I feel as if I should have done much differently. For the first incident, there wasn’t much I could do, because that was not something that I could predict, but for both of my latter friends, I could have done something. For the first one, her glassy eyes and faraway look should have been the first warning, and the second should have been her questioning about that friend the whole time. I should have known that she was using me in a way - and just left her and her friendship to find better friends. For the third person, we both just seemed to have moved away from each other, or rather, she moved away from me. Throughout the school year, I had this small feeling that she seemed to be ignoring me or ditching me sometimes, but I still stuck with her. Most of my friends were her friends, and since she was the most popular and well-known one, I knew that my friends would stick to her. That sole reason kept me clinging to her side, as stupid as can be.
If I had known this quote before, “If you’re constantly having to wonder where you stand with someone, maybe it's time to stop standing and start walking,” my life would have been totally different. My current friends are always scolding me for not telling them secrets, but as much as I want to, my past experiences, which I could have changed, leave me scarred. If only I had started walking. Now though, is not the time to regret the bad decision, but to keep this mind for future references. When I feel something is wrong in a relationship between me with another person, I should start walking. I should start walking…
- Jahnavi Yandapalli
The quote “If you are constantly having to wonder where you stand with someone, maybe it's time to stop standing and start walking”, best applies to pre-teens and teenagers. At this stage in life, people shift from elementary school to middle school and are surrounded by more people daily. Consequently, new friendships are formed, but old friendships may wither away due to different schedules, changing personalities, or conflicts. I interpreted the quote as meaning that when you wonder too much about if you're truly friends with someone or not, it's better to end the friendship and find new friends. During the pre-teen and teen years, relationships change and people who were the best of friends may grow apart or become enemies. I've experienced this a few times myself.
ReplyDeleteOne time the quote applied to me was during fourth grade. I had moved here and quickly became friends with a girl who lived nearby. While it was fun to hang out with her, she would ignore me if a friend she had known longer was present. Her other friend lived near us as well, and would visit us sometimes, either at my house or my friend's house. She was friendly to me as well, but only talked to me if our friend wasn't there. She even knocked on my door a few times to call my friend over to hang out, but didn't bother to invite me along. Instead of becoming part of a small group of friends as I thought I would have when I first met them, I became a substitute friend for both of them if one or the other wasn't available. At the time, I didn't understand why they ignored me when they hung out with each other and questioned if we were really friends. Eventually, I found better friends and stopped speaking to the other two.
Another instance where the quote applies occurred with three of my friends from fifth grade. We didn't have any issues with each other, but as time went on and everyone went from elementary school to middle school, we started growing apart. One of my friends went to a different middle school, and the only time we see each other is during music G&T. Even then, we never talk to each other anymore. During fifth grade, we messaged each other often, but in the summer before middle school, we messaged each other less often until we stopped talking to each other. Another one of my friends started to hang out with other people, and as we don't have any classes together, we grew apart. The third friend and I remained good friends for a longer time, but she moved away and we never message each other anymore. I was confused where my friendship with each person stood, but made new friends and moved on.
Instances like these are common in a pre-teen's and teen's life. The quote, “If you are constantly having to wonder where you stand with someone, maybe it's time to stop standing and start walking”, means that we need to be smart about who we choose to be our friends and end friendships that cause us to act differently or question the friendship far too much.
Dhruv Patel
ReplyDeleteBlog #9
7th grade. Middle school. Teen years. This is the time that many decisions are made. This is probably the time that is packed with decisions to make. You can choose to learn something new everday, maintain good grades, and become the best student you want. Or you could be that kid that just messes around trying to think they’re funny and have no clue of what they are doing in high school. I’m not saying that you can’t have fun, but there are sometimes that you have to be serious and look at yourself and ask yourself, “ Am I really prepared for high school. Are the people I hang out with, the people that would help me out at anytime. I am just being a follower, or am I actually trying to do things on my own.” These are the questions that everyone has to ask themselves, even me. No one is perfect, but we can try to be the best that we can be.
I know that it is hard when it comes to making decisions like giving up being a follower. Everyone wants to fit in with their peers, even I do. To be honest, sometimes we all do the same things that all of our friends do, sometimes it's the right thing and other times, it's the wrong thing.We shouldn't look at if we are standing with our friends or not. If we know that they aren’t right, we should go on our own path.
I remember in elementary school, I always use to do what my friend use to. I would always follow what he would do. I would never think if it was right or wrong, I would do it just because he was doing it. But, I realized that it wasn’t right that I was always doing what he was doing. So, I did exactly what the quote says, “... stop standing and start walking.” I stopped following him, and then I started walking. I did what I thought what was right, I did what I wanted to do on my own, and after that I didn't follow anyone for doing something.
After that, I never followed anyone. Don’t know if anyone ever followed me, but I didn’t. The only time I followed someone was when it was the right thing. The only difference this time was that I thought about it before I do anything.
Each and every one of us have our own special weaknesses and strengths. These talents and failures may range from personal pride (hubris), to even personal loyalty. However, we must all agree upon the fact that one shared weakness among all humans is that we tend to be very comparative amongst ourselves and the people around us. The quote “If you're constantly having to wonder where you stand with someone, maybe it’s time to stop standing and start walking” enforces a lot of this profound weakness in humans.
ReplyDeletePeople tend to behave in a way where they always compare themselves to others. For example, when they get something valuable and worthwhile, all of the excitement is centered on that particular object. Eventually, however, when someone else proves to obtain something much more valuable, common human nature kicks in and we all start wondering where we rank between our fellow individuals. Several times throughout the progress of my life, I have experienced this firsthand, both in the points of view of third and first person.
When I was in elementary school, I had a friend named Jared. He seemed to be an excellent friend, so I always hung out with him during free time, or recess, at school. Everything was going routine until one day he came to school, and began acting different. Nothing I had, up to this point, was able to explain this newfound situation, but he started hanging out with, as one might call them, the “popular” individuals. Luckily for me, I still had plenty of other friends to hang out with. Unfortunately, I had befriended Jared quite intently, so my loyalty towards him was far too great to discard. Eventually, he began to force me into doing things I would never have wanted to do, such as getting in trouble simply for the worth of a laugh. It was around this stage when I wondered where I stood in Jared’s mind. I had always been a good friend to him, yet he coldly turned on my back the first chance he got. This quote helps remind me that each and every one of us is a unique soul, and so it does not matter whether we rank low in the eyes of others. The next year, when I was in the third grade, I begun to hang out more with my other friends. In short, the end result of this chaotic learning lesson is that I finally have friends who are as loyal to me as I am to them.
Another time where a similar situation arose that forced me to “stop standing and start walking” was when I was visiting some old friends in another state. I thought that they would be the same as when I had befriended them before, fun and a good influence, but the moment I got there, I had a cold feeling that they too, like Jared, had morphed for the worse. Eventually, I did find out this to be the case, and so I “started walking” once more.
Conclusively, this quote is one that is like no other. It helps each and every one of us to ponder about how we live our lives. Do we live them at the hands of our manipulative so-called friends? Or do we act as our own self, and “start walking?" Life for an adolescent teenager is proven to be rocky enough, but with the peer pressure and the determined will to do what is right, things get much more problematic. However, this simple sentence gives us all a reminder that we are each our own self, and nothing should be able to alter or change that.
By: Sennet Senadheera
5/31/2017 Blog—9
In my opinion, this quote is really talking about the meaning of one exact thing: friendship. The friends you enjoy with are supposed to be hand-picked by yourself. No one else picks your best friends but you. Here comes the problem though; there might be some instances where these so called “friends” aren’t really friends at all. We’re talking about the backstabbers and the gossip-spreaders and all those other peers who try to act like a true friend but are really just a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
ReplyDeleteCurrently, most of us are in our teenage or tween (“pre-teens” meaning from the ages of 10-12) years. Life is not going our way and most likely all of us are being challenged by some sort of obstacle. In this quote, it is describing the hurdle of choosing friends. Although the people who we study with regularly live close by, in a few years, after most of us have reached college and the times to pass, most of our lives will not intersect anymore and we will all most likely be taking different paths, each one varying from another’s. Until that time comes it’s important be close with close friends who you respect.
Speaking of respect, I’m pretty sure no one wants a friend who mistreats them or hurts them in any other way. That’s why it is absolutely important to choose friends wisely. Now I know I sound like one of those “sages” who say wisdom-related proverbs and whatnot, but it is true. If the friends you hang out with are not worthy of your trust or do not acknowledge for who you are, then they are not friends but mere people you see sometimes.
What the quote is basically trying to say is that if you can’ figure out where you are with someone or “where you stand with them”, the best option is to move on. Usually, if something is out of our grasp and it will probably be impossible to make it happen, it’s best to just forget and live life normally again. Although, there might be some people who think that “Nothing is impossible” and no matter what, “Never give up”, sometimes its best to avoid something that cannot be done other than trying your hardest but still failing. In this case, it practically refers to the fact of how your relationship is with someone. If a friend does not exactly care about you and has no intention of being with you, then it’s time to get up and start moving away or “stop standing and start walking”.
Aditya K.
Blog #9
Have you ever walked by the popular table and wished that you could be one of them? Have you ever sat with the popular kids but wouldn’t talk at all, looking totally awkward? If you’re one of these people who are reading this now, don’t worry. I’m sure everyone wants to be popular. I admit too that I want to be popular. People would look up to you. You don’t get bullied. You are one of the coolest kids in school. This is a good dream to come true, isn’t it? But let’s just stop and think for a second. Does being popular really matter? Does popularity help you get good grades or get you into a top college? If you are still thinking, the answer’s no. If you sit with someone and you don't feel comfortable, just walk away.
ReplyDelete“If you’re constantly having to wonder where you stand with someone, maybe it’s time to stop standing and start walking.” This quote basically talks about choosing the right people to be friends with. Your best friend should always be there for you, will be the shoulder for you to lean on. Friends are not people who want to be with you for what you have, for example, if you won a cash prize of $1,000,000, or you got to meet a celebrity. Trust me, I bet that this has happened to everyone. Take myself for example. When I moved to a new school in first grade, There were a lot of kids that I could choose from to be friends with. I sat with a group of people during lunch, but I never felt included in the group. Then I moved away from the group and then found my best friend. We are still BFF’s now! We do tons of fun girly stuff together (and some secret stuff that I can’t tell you. It is purely CONFIDENTIAL)!
Imagine you walking down the hallways of IMS when you see a huge crowd surrounding someone. You join in the crowd to see who the “celebrity” is. You find out that this is the most popular girl in school. All the girls follow her, and you join in too, because you want to be just like her. But, realize that you don’t have to follow the queen bee. You are your own leader. You don’t have to ask anyone if you look good in that dress, or if you have a great haircut. BE YOURSELF!
You should also be in mind of the consequences. I once got in trouble because of a person who I thought was my friend! This person tricked me into bullying someone else, and I got in big trouble! I then told the teacher that this person told me to, but when the teacher consulted this person, they lied about it, which got me in even more trouble for “lying”! Crazy, right?
In conclusion, what this quote is trying to say is be you. Don’t let anyone change who you are. Just think that “If you’re constantly having to wonder where you stand with someone, maybe it’s time to stop standing and start walking”.
By Sneha Saravanan
Blog #9
What I understood from this quote is that we should not constantly compare ourselves to another person and feel bad about it. Instead, we should start working to achieve what they have achieved. We compare ourselves to another person for reasons as simple as the fact that they are smarter than us, or stronger than us, or faster than us, or even better at sports than us, etc. But if we do constantly compare ourselves with others, maybe it is time for us to stop comparing ourselves to them, and start giving them a reason to compare themselves to us.
ReplyDeleteWhat we all do after observing someone successful, for instance a famous athlete or a singer, is lose hope. We lose hope and question ourselves whether we will ever be as good as they are. Instead of losing hope, we should get hope after seeing an ordinary person like us becoming successful. When we turn our heads and look into the eyes of a successful person, we can’t help but compare ourselves to them. We do not think about the work they did to get to where they are today. If we did, we would work just as hard to get up there with them. We give up on the dreams we have because we keep comparing ourselves to successful people and lose hope. This has applied to me numerous times when I didn’t think I could ever be as good as some other successful person. For instance, when I first started playing soccer, I was terrible at it. I was the worst on the team compared to my teammates, not even being able to move the ball around. I did not want to play soccer ever again. Later, I saw how good players like Lionel Messi and Neymar Jr. were on TV and got inspired. Also my parents told me to just keep on practicing and keep on trying even when I fail. Now, I am a twelve year old playing in a fifteen year old travel team league, getting offers from many other travel teams. Practice definitely makes us perfect.
There are many types of situations where this quote can be applied to us. Not only towards someone famous, but also towards someone who sits next to us in class, and walks with us home, in the form of our friends. When we see something that our friend constantly surpasses us in, we get aggravated. But we don’t feel sad but rather mad. Mad at ourselves for not being as good as them. Instead of moping and getting mad, what we should do is work. Work towards it and surprise your friend. I was the slowest runner in elementary school, right behind everybody. My friends were way faster than I was, and I was upset about it, so what I did was run whenever and wherever I could. That helped me get a lot faster and eventually get into the track team in elementary school.
We all compare ourselves to other individuals all the time. But we should also be working toward our own dreams. As I have learned from my own experiences, don’t just constantly compare yourself with someone, but work towards what you want to do and your ambitions.
“If you are constantly having to wonder where you stand with someone, maybe it’s time to stop standing and start walking.” - Anonymous
ReplyDeleteI can very much relate to the quote above, and I am sure most teenagers can as well. Every time I am with my friends, I find myself with a few questions- are they just pretending to be nice to me? Or do they really consider me as a friend? I feel like most of the people in my grade don’t really have “true” friends, including me. I know that if I tell my friends I need them, they will bail on me if something else pops up. And then when I start wondering where I stand with them. If you are constantly having to wonder if your friends are just using you or if they consider you as a true friend, it is a sign that you have to stop standing- being with them, and start walking- make new friends.
When I was in sixth grade, I had a big group of friends and it was a little hard for me to spend time with all of them. Then later, we started having fights because they thought that I don’t like them and I gossip about them to those I spend time with. That was a time I felt that- don’t you do the same thing to me when you spending time with your own friends? That time I felt a bit out of place, we had multiple, giant, elephant sized fights! And later our group just drifted apart, people moved to different places, some people stopped talking to each other and such. I should have stopped standing with them, and I should have started walking. But, to this day, I try to make a conversation with those people and it is never easy. Now that I know this quote, I hits me with a bang, and a why didn’t I do this before feeling. Now, I know that I can start walking. I know that I don’t have to make myself wait for those people.
One more instance for which this quote would have been the most helpful to me was when I was friends with a “popular” girl and I was really proud of myself because I was a “wanna-be” back then even though I didn’t know it. I thought she was my “real” friend and that I could talk to her about anything. I used to help her with her homework and she used to help me with my outfits everyday. Turns out, she was only using me. She didn’t want me to hang around her while looking like a scumbag, so she told me what to wear and she didn't want fail her classes so she used me to do her homework! I was really happy that I had found a true friend, but I didn’t know what she really thought of me, and I regret being friends with her, it always makes me think that other people might be the same as her.
In friendships and any other relationships, if you ever feel out of place or used, move on, do what this quote tells you to do. Start Walking! If you keep standing, waiting, for the other person to address the issue, you are only going to hurt yourself. If you ever wonder if a person truly respects you or if you repeatedly have doubts about them, don’t stand for them, walk away from them. There are a lot of other people in the world, and some of them may turn out to be your true, honest, and loyal friends.
~Abha Shah
Blog #9
-Aayushi Shah-
ReplyDeleteHave you ever caught yourself questioning your habits, your possessions, your friends? Have you ever caught yourself questioning where you stand in comparison to others?
It happens to me at daily basis, and most times I don't even know I am doing it. I wouldn't call it insecurity but it just something you feel when you find something or someone higher or lower than you.
An instance that would fit in this topic the best would be when I receive my test scores of math tests each week. Now this, I am sure, will be something most of my classmates do. When the tests are handed back, the first thing to be done is to compare my score with Abha’s. And I know this for fact that whoever that is knowledged that Abha and I are sisters will compare us both as well. There is always a temptation that whatever happens my score should beat hers. Now I don't know if this is a sibling thing but most people do wish to beat someone at something.
The only good side to comparing people is that you are determined. There are several other consequences. To name some, you are constantly looking over the qualities you have and only aiming for those that others have; I look over the fact that I got a 98% and mourn that someone else got a 99%. As Iyanla Vanzant said, “Comparing is an act of violence against your authentic self.” You upset yourself about someone’s success, your self-esteem lowers, you lack confidence, you don't trust yourself and start depending on others. All of this fuss just because you are trying to be someone you know you're not.
Another instance would be when I was trying to write an argumentative essay. I clearly wasn’t good at it. ELA wasn’t my strongest subject, nor was using complicated words - I believe when you can say happy why would I use a complicated word such as buoyant. As I read essays of my friends, who were clearly pros at this, I compared mine to theirs. This only made me struggle and try to make mine as good. Michelle Parsons understood this early, she said,“Don't compare yourself to others….That's a battle you can never win.” Why try to do something that you simply don't understand, there are things you are good at, there are others where you may struggle. You don’t need to be a know-it-all.
In both instances, all I needed to understand is that I was repeatedly trying to beat someone else, a battle I couldn’t win. I could truly achieve something when I would beat myself, always try to beat the old me. Fix the mistakes I made, do better than before. This would be the way I would reach a success that was my own. Become my own self. Trying to beat someone else would be a never ending book you are trying to finish, there is always a new chapter waiting. At least when you're trying to beat yourself, you have satisfaction, confidence, and trust that you are getting better.
-Aayushi Shah-
“If you’re constantly having to wonder where you stand with someone, maybe it’s time to stop standing and start walking.”
ReplyDeleteThis quote addresses one of the most stressful aspects of a pre-teen’s life. The social aspect. In the awkward years between being a child and becoming an adult, your instinct is to try to fit in with people, to have that ‘childhood friend’ or someone that you can share all your secrets with. Someone that you can trust and respect. Someone that might not be able to cheer you up in your worst of times, but is willing to cry with you. However, these friends are few and far in between.
I think that outside sources may even influence this urge to have close friends, such as books and movies, where the main character has a whole cast of ‘typical’ friends. You might not even notice it, but you’re trying to fit into the mold of what society dictates a ‘pre-teen’ is. This might cause you to make rash decisions, or look past things that you normally wouldn’t. This includes being friends with people who don’t respect you, getting into trouble for them, or being used by them. Unfortunately, as other blogs have proved, these instances aren’t unusual. In fact, almost everyone, even at only 12 or 13 years old, has experienced something of the sort. Betrayal, lies, gossip, the whole package. Eventually, the drama ends with the parties involved diverging from each other, never able to rekindle what their ‘friendship’ was again. Despite this certainly not being the end of the world, although you might think it is at that time, it can still be an emotionally and mentally tiring process that you should avoid. That is where this quote comes in handy. If you find yourself frequently wondering how your ‘friends’ perceive you and why they act as they do, don’t just stew in your thoughts. Confront them. Better to know a hurtful truth than hide in a comforting lie. Make sure that you both are clear on your relationship, whether it be a platonic one or a romantic one. Never let the problem go unapproached, until the inevitable day when everything comes crashing down.
I’ve been lucky enough not to have any such incident happen to me yet, but I’ve seen it occur all around me, with classmates, friends, and family. People gradually drifting apart from the due process of time, or lies being revealed like a flash of lightning on a clear sunny day, leaving destruction in their wake. You’re left wondering things like, ‘where did I go wrong?’ or ‘who’s fault is it?’. It’s no one’s fault, just the consequence of avoidance and ignorance on both ends. Don’t just stand there, hoping that everything will solve itself. Walk. Run. Do whatever it takes to find good friendships, and do whatever it takes to get rid of bad ones.
“Friendship means understanding, not agreement. It means forgiveness, not forgetting. It means the memories last, even if contact is lost.”
“If you’re constantly having to wonder where you stand with someone, maybe it’s time to stop standing and start walking.”
ReplyDeleteThis quote can touch many in different situations, in number of ways. TO adults, it might be describing their relationship status, to colleagues, their rank at the office, to classmates, constantly trying to be the teacher’s pet, and to pre-teens, friends. At a young age we are taught to never to leave anyone out, to always include the excluded. However, once we grow, so does our desires. We no longer care to be kind, and forget how rich friendship is. Friends are the ones who lift you, when you’re down, they’re the ones, who help you smile, and they’re the ones who are close to understanding how you feel. But, that's not the case once we leave elementary. When kids become “teens”, their choices change rapidly, and they don’t truly know what they’re doing, and whom they’re hurting. They start to hang out with people with similar, more “grown-up” interests, or for fame. Anyhow, by excluding the old friend out of the group, but still hanging out with them when there’s no one to chat to, and making them feel like the third-wheel, is how this quote speaks to me.
Most know the scarred feeling of a third-wheel. You feel left-out because secrets are being shared in front of you, but you’ve no clue. Even upon asking to know, you still remain clueless. Everyone hang out, and have a blast, and you find out from someone who's not even your friend, that even that person was with your friends. It could be big things such as not inviting you to parties, but then sticking to you when there’s a company around, or little things such as simply ignoring you in group conversations. These events causes anxiety in one, especially a teenager, and they start to blame themselves for being boring, or awkward which is why they wonder, they are being left out. When in reality, it’s not their fault.
When one feels left out, they should walk away, because if the people who call themselves your friend, but doesn’t give you a respected place in their lives, you’re constantly knocking at a dead end. One have to realize, that you don’t really mean as much to the other person, beside a backup. It’ll take a lot of courage, but sooner or later, you’ll find friends who deserve you, and your companionship.
I happen to get myself in situation where I always felt like the third leg. I’m a person who enjoys little groups of close friends, so whenever I meet someone like me, I introduce them to my old friends. And out of nowhere, they all connect, leaving me out. Making me wonder if I’m really worthy of such. In these situation, I always have to wait to speak out my thoughts, walk behind the group, since the sidewalk, and the school’s hallway is made for two people. This annoys me, because sometimes, I’m the center of attention, and the other times, everyone just ignores me as if I’m not visible to them. After wandering for awhile, I decided to use the cliche method and tell my “friends” that I feel like a third-wheel, and they always reply with a shrug or a smile. So, in order to be appreciated among the group, I tried to stay away from them for a while, but that affected me even more, since before they at least chose me for a backup, but after the distance, they even forgot how I appear. They best technique is to have other friends outside the group, so you don’t feel left out, or simply walk out of the fake friendship all together and have positive folks around you. Folks who help you soar in the skies, instead of those who drag you in the darkest of pits where you end up blaming yourself for being who you are.
To be friends with somebody is basically like dating someone in a way. You both have to put in an effort, and if you don’t you’re bound to result in failure. Standing there wondering how you belong with someone, or if you are truly meant to be friends is supposed to happen, but only 3 or 4 times a year. We’re teenagers now, and all we want is more friends or to be completely left alone. However, those of us who do make a lot of friends, are always question ate on wither we made the right decision or not.
ReplyDeleteBacking down is one of the things that you should do if that question constantly comes up in your mind. They never liked you in the first place, and now if you constantly are wondering if they do appreciate you, you’re basically playing yourself. All you’re really doing is setting yourself up for utter failure, as the friendship you are currently in is considered fake, useless, and overall dumb on your end. People will never become satisfied with one another unless they are assured that who they are with respects them, understand them, and most importantly care for them so.
Knowing when to walk is the best part. Walking away from a broken friendship makes the one whom was suffering from it feel free and ecstatic and the one who broke it feel disgusted and busted. When someone in a friendship is making you feel like a pile of pulp while they are disregarding your sadness and only worrying about themselves, which is an excellent point to come to the realization that you have been pushed over a limit. That is when you need to walk away, and realize that this entire time, you have not been helping yourself, but you have been playing yourself in the worst way possible. You have been suffering from an unhealthy friendship that’s been holding you back from your true potential to say so the least. If you find yourself stuck where you are your only friend, there’s no point in even needing that friend anymore. A realization that the world needs to make is not everyone is your friend, and sometimes the people that play as your friends are flat out using you for something, while you truly care for them, and when that is the scenario, you must walk away.
In the end friendship is friendship , and a true friendship will truly hurt forever if you walk away from it. But, a bad friendship like most of the popular kids have can be ruined in a nutshell and literally haunt you for the rest of your life. Having a small group of friends who truly care about you is supreme to having a whole bunch of friends who literally have no meaning for you and no hope for you. Life is about choosing wisely, and friendships are one of those things that, if you mess up on, it can hurt you a lot.
- Taneesh
Life is an endless competition to solve a mystery and in this mystery you’re always trying to look for another clue about your competition In order to beat them. While you are doing that you will have to compare yourself to all of them to see if you are ahead behind or right next to them. So instead of trying to get even further ahead you stop to see how you are compared to someone. That is when they surpass you and get ahead while you’re still stuck there thinking if you have surpassed them yet only to find out that you haven’t. In life, everyone is trying their best to surpass everyone. While we are in that process we sometimes have to ask ourselves am I ahead of that person yet? When you are in that kind of situation think of it like this “If you are constantly having to wonder where you stand with someone, maybe it’s time to stop standing and start walking.” That quote will help you in the long run in this world where there is no end to superiority. There are many different stories that each person has to say about comparing but they usually think of it as they did better than me, now I need to work double hard.
ReplyDeleteMy story is a little different though, in my story I treat someone else as a higher-up and don’t care. This story was actually my everyday life as if a few months ago. When ever I do something with my friends I always treat my friends as superior to me. I know in my head that my friends would never think of me as lower than them or compare me to them in any way but equal. Although my case is totally different in the quote it says you should stop standing and start walking for me I can forget about standing I’m still sitting. I cant get myself to even think of my friends as equals. Then one day I had no choice I had to take lead and compare my self to my friend we both had to compete against each other in a project so I couldn’t hide behind him. That made me feel happy because we had good fun. The best part was that I got to skip standing, I went straight from sitting to walking. I was trying my best to have a better project than him. We compared everything from color to grade. When we both decided that in the end I was the winner I finally walked past him. I still couldn’t change the fact about myself that I was better than my friends, but know I accept the fact that I can stand next to them. Now this quote will help me improve even more I have to stop standing and start walking not towards him but past him. I have to get up and make him follow me. I cant just keep comparing myself where instead I can keep going ahead so that I can figure out for sure that I will be ahead of him by the time I am ready to find out.
The main thing I am trying to portray through my story is that I have to stop trying to walk next to my friend and start going in front of him. When I can truly do that then only will I be successful in this stage of life. I must surpass not catch up. You can think of it as a game instead of playing defensive and trying to make sure he doesn’t get points go on the offensive and get the points for yourself that’s the only way you can win. You can’t win a game without getting points you can only try to make it a tie, But think about t why would you want to go for a tie when you could just take the win.
Awesome ideas! Have a super safe and fun summer!
ReplyDeleteMy opinion of this quote basically refers to friendship. If I don’t know my place in a friendship then it is not worthwhile the time to be friends with that individual. You never know if that friend is meant for you until you know that they are good people and that they are helpful and kind people. You want a friend that doesn’t betray you or abandon you after a few years. You want friends that last a long time or even forever. The term BFF means Best Friend Forever. The forever is the part that should stand out in every friend. If your friend isn’t forever why bother. You want the friends that when you are older they are still there supporting you. Not all people are nice people but some are. And you have to find those people and create your own group of friends. Once you go forward in school life you and your friends might start to seperate but you want to keep the bond between you and your friends for years to come. Remember these friends love the person you are and love to hangout with you for that reason.
ReplyDeleteFriends are also there for you. When you're sick and need homework or just company to keep busy. A friend should always stick near you in all situations because that’s what friends do. If they don’t stick by you or don’t care about you, they're not your friends and they don’t deserve you.”But those who abandon their friends are worst than scum”(Kakashi Hatake, Naruto).A good friend is a person who enjoys being with you and admires your personal skills and traits. They should be a person you smile to see everyday and that you would miss if they went somewhere.These are the qualities that a really good friend has. This should help someone make lots of GOOD friends.Because in life friendship is all that matters.